It’s been a year since I started taking Lexapro, and it’s crazy to think how different of a person I am today than I was a year ago on the eve of my birthday. As I am counting down the last minutes of being 22, I realize that I am content with where I am in my life right now. I am a first generation college graduate. I have an amazingly rewarding and fulfilling job as a long-term substitute in a high school severely profound special education classroom, which has pushed to apply to graduate programs to pursue my special education credential.
This time last year, I had such paralyzing anxiety about my future, which propelled me into the deepest state of depression I’ve ever hit. I felt like I was half alive. I was constantly exhausted and unmotivated, some days, I couldn’t even find the strength to get up out of bed to eat something. I just wanted to sleep, because sleep was a state of unconsciousness, where I did not have to deal with reality. I admitted to myself that this was not a battle that I could fight on my own, which was the biggest battle of all.
But, day by day, and week by week… I found the energy to wake up a half hour early. I found the energy to get out of bed and take a shower. I was able to think clearer, decisions were easier to make and priorities seemed to fall into place. I felt content, I felt grounded. I still do feel grounded, despite whatever burdens I may encounter.
I believe you are in my life to teach me how fleeting attachments and infatuations can be. But also how comfortable and familiar they can be at the same time. The most important thing you taught me was to be more cautious. I wish you complete happiness and positivity. I recognize your struggle a human being and I commend your daily efforts to survive a sometimes dark world. But you have light inside of you just as we all do. I see this light and I hope that your time with me has only brightened your inner light. I hope that our time has taught you something about yourself.
I am thankful for another year of life and opportunities. I hope to continue to grow and acquire knowledge. I want to continue to give back to my community and make a difference. Cheers to another year.